Saturday, September 22, 2012

Don't try to sell Meth to a Crackhead

What I mean to say is there is no similarity between a Pumpkin Latte and a regular latte.  Yeah, I said it!  I'm a grown ass man having a tantrum about not getting my Pumpkin Latte.  It's funny, normally I would never drink such a thing, yet here I am writing bout not having one.  These are strange days we live in.  Maybe the Mayans were right, because the younger me would kick my ass, "Pumpkin Latte".  I'm not going to  plug the manufacturer of said, exquisitely-delicious-crack&butter filled cup of ecstasy.  No, I will let you assume you know which one it is and allow you to chastise me for it.

The girl was a sweetheart, she laughed and snorted when I told her not to sling meth to a crackhead.  Her manager didn't find the fact that they were out of product very amusing and I get it.  As soon as they announced they were out of Pumpkin-crack, at least 5 people hopped line.  That got me to thinking?  What if I brewed my own pumpkin-crack and sold it to people?  The sheer volume of people that drink a Pumpkin Latte is staggering.

Here is an establishment, we will call it school-house drug dealer.  You know, the guy at the end of the block that gives you stuff for free to get you hooked.  Just like in those after-school specials, "pssssst, hey kid,     ca-mere I got something your gonna love".  They are right, I love my Pumpkin-Crack, it's just a shame that it is going to be taken away soon. Just like the pusher-man on the corner. "Thing is though kid, I only have enough for you to try it and like it, then I'm taking it away"!  That's just not right!

It's a shame that Pumpkin-crack is so addicting.  If it weren't, I suppose it wouldn't be such a big seller.  Maybe it's the butter?  Maybe it's the MSG?  I have no idea what is put into the magical cups of goodness, but I do know they are awesome and I need to go find a purveyor of Crack&Butter filled ecstasy.  Maybe I'll set up a lemonade stand, cross out (Lemonade) and scribble in with a crayon Pumpkin Ecstasy?  That way instead of being a consumer, I can become a distributor.  Just like the guy in the after school movie, except I carry carafe's instead of baggies.

7 comments:

  1. you could pimp this out and sell ur pumpkin-crack out of it. put some spinning rims on it and a banging sound system perhaps...decent business model already established with it as well, check it out!

    http://www.bikecaffe.com/aboutbikecaffe

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    1. I like it. It makes sense to because I do actually ride my bike everywhere now. That is brilliant and so horribly dangerous that it sounds interesting. Thanks

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  2. and it you wanna cater to the rastas in the neighborhood

    http://www.bikecaffe.com/marleycoffee

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  3. Hahahaha. That's awesome! I just wrote a post about using a story to create a business. Here is the exception to the rule. If there is truly an underserved population just the fact that you exist is awesome. But, telling a story about pumpkin latte's will be even better! Organic pumpkins?

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    1. Every business I started had a story behind it. The story that played out usually wasn't nearly as dreamy as the inception. But every business always had a running narrative as to why, how and for what purpose. Granted starting a business for greed never ended well, nor did need? It seemed the only decent businesses started where the ones that were started out of, "Why not"?

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  4. Well. You just succeeded in making me crave a pumpkin latte. Might I suggest a "peppermint white mocha" latte as a close second? You can find it at the same place I'm almost positive you're referring to in this blog. I agree it's pretty annoying that the pumpkin flavor is only around long enough each year to remind you how much you love it! Then they yank it away! Not fair.

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  5. Would the Pumkin Latte be so desirable if it was offered year round? Who would really drink a pumpkin latte in the middle of July.. anyone?

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